Don’t keep broken things.
Or broken relationships.
Personal, professional, workplace, client, marital or friend…
Work to repair only relationships that are stronger for the work of each. That is gold.
Don’t work on a broken relationship if it requires you to submit, like a trained seal.
If you must remain in a broken relationship, work on yourself for yourself.
Remain aware.
Remind yourself why you are making this sacrifice.
Check the worth of that sacrifice from time to time.
And give yourself some credit.
Broken things, part 2.
You have to grasp what and who you are dealing with. If you are not dealing with someone who will behave in good faith, and you keep being confused, thinking it’s just a misunderstanding, it might cost you everything.
I call these unmoveable people The Nice-issists.
When they are nice to everyone but you.
When you think, well, it must just be me. Something is wrong with me. I’ll try something else.
When you give thought and consideration to an important decision affecting you both, and maybe others, and they say nothing. So you make up in your head, well, they are just so nice, they don’t know what to say, or this must be hard for them, or maybe they feel bad.
But sometimes, it is none of those things. You are dealing with a grown up. Silence is consent. And in some cases, contempt.
A boss trying to give corrective feedback to an employee, who replies aggressively with verbal denial and attacks instead.
A spouse is trying to make the best decision to nurture and provide for his or her family, but there is always an excuse from the other about why they didn’t do what they needed to do, to move the family forward.
A business partner being uncommunicative, while profits and workplace environment worsen.
A family member who behaves kindly but takes passive aggressive shots from someone, and then is told by observers “you’re being so defensive”.
All we can do is:
1. Make sure we don’t do these things, even in little ways.
2. Discern if there is good faith, or repetition of behavior that shows your concerns are not important-bad faith.
3. Read. There are good books on understanding human behavior, and how to communicate well.
4. Get a therapist. Actually, get a therapist anyway.
5. Know that most of us simply were not taught, AT ALL, how to be polite and also bring up something that will not feel good, but must be dealt with. So keep an open mind, but not so open your brains fall out.
Undercover Profit Prevention Team
“The store will be closing in 20 minutes. Please bring your things to the checkout”. Or something like that. All I know is one minute I’m stacking my finds to try on, and the next minute the store music stops and doesn’t come back on.
It seems pretty minor, I know. And employees have lives- supper to make, things to do, and they’re just sometimes mentally done before the end of day whistle blows.
But you don’t create a closed store feeling. Until. The store. Is closed.
Because it reduces sales.
Because a closed store is not contributing revenue to payroll.
Because customers don’t feel great in the time-squeezed atmosphere. In the above instance, people talked a bit more quietly, because the music was not covering their chat- it had been turned off. Some people looked at the change rooms, looked at their stuff, and did the math.
Some people headed to the cash register.
People don’t want to look inconsiderate, so they put the employee’s “getting ready to leave” system as the priority.
Politely spending less than they planned on, even though the store was open for almost 20 more minutes.
Short term gain for the workers. Long term gain for….nobody.
Maybe it is the store owner’s policy, you say. Yeah, maybe. And maybe they are aware, but don’t want to challenge their employees. This devalues the day’s profit possibility, and should the owner ever want to sell, he has a couple of problems.
A system problem, and the employees won’t like the change.
A profit problem.
And both of these problems create a reduced valuation over time, should he want to sell his stores.
If every day you looked at your business with the eyes of someone preparing to sell, would you look at it differently? See the opportunities for improvement? Even if you plan on keeping your business always?
Having like-minded people to discuss these opportunities with makes business, and life better.
Power Valuation Group was created to do that. It’s a community to help business owners get the full value out of their business today, not just at sale or retirement time.
Group call is Thursday, October 16, time to be determined.
To see if your business might add to, and benefit from, the Power Valuation Group community, send an email to:
debbie@dowhatmatters.life with “PowerVAL details please” in the subject line.
And I’ll send the details over.
Self-doubt is an all-too-common emotion that can hinder our growth, success, and overall happiness. It is the nagging whisper, telling us we’re not enough somehow. So out-work it. The sheer volume of work kills the whisper of self-doubt. By putting in the work, we can build competence, and therefore confidence. Here are some strategies:
1. Recognize and acknowledge self-doubt:
Admit to ourselves that we are experiencing this emotion, then can we begin to address it. Self-doubt often arises from fear, past experiences, or societal pressures.
2. Practice self-compassion:
Everyone experiences moments of uncertainty. Self-compassion involves understanding that it’s okay to make mistakes and that growth often comes from facing challenges. By treating ourselves with kindness and empathy, we can start to dismantle the negative thoughts that fuel self-doubt.
3. Develop a growth mindset:
A growth mindset is the belief that our abilities can be developed and improved through dedication and hard work. This mindset encourages us to view challenges as opportunities for growth rather than as insurmountable obstacles. A self-compassionate leader will more easily extend compassion to those they lead or influence, in family or at work.
4. Take action:
Procrastination and inaction only serve to amplify the whisper of self-doubt. Get working, break down tasks into doable steps. As you complete each step, you’ll feel a sense of accomplishment, and you will have increased your competence. Competence is like a brick in building the wall of confidence- so powerful!
5. Surround yourself with positive influences
Our environment can significantly impact our self-doubt levels. Our environment includes who and what we listen to, read and view. We must carefully weed and cultivate that environment. Seek out positive leaders in your environment. Observe them, and sometimes even ask them for insight, and feedback on a challenge you have a plan for. Also, seek out inspiring content to listen to, read, and view. Sometimes your crucial circle of positive influence will include people you only know through books, videos, podcasts, and online courses.
6. Reflect on your progress:
Write it down, pen to paper every day. And review those notes weekly. These practices will help you recognize your achievements and remind you of your capabilities.
When you do these steps together, the work crowds out the doubt. This work requires time and repetition and perseverance. All real things, strong things, that weaken self-doubt’s grasp, because it has been outworked.
Do What Matters.
Out Work self doubt.
Small business owners are notorious for doing many things, outside of their business. They are often contributing to the community, and have big personal and family goals that take time and effort. So when we hit a big obstacle, we go into Do mode-what do I need to get, buy, bring in, advertise? It is often the nature of the business mind to get creative and solve this problem!
But before you spend money or other resources, really look at what you have, right now. Who are the productive staff? What is the product on hand? What are the doable services you have that you can market at no or low cost? What are your natural skills that you could put into play, right now, as is? What does your email list look like? Have you been in regular contact with the people on your email list? How much time do you have to make this better?
Assess what you have. Write it down.
- Work with it.
- Have a date/time to measure the results.
- Do these steps over and over until the obstacle is removed, or at least manageable.
You will be surprised at how much you have, that you can work with right now, without spending much, if any, money.
All Work Matters
Dictionary definition of work: noun. Activity involving mental or physical effort done in order to achieve a purpose or result.
When something important happens, good or bad, you will often hear that someone has taken time off “work”. Meaning, they no longer will be doing the tasks, or management of tasks, that earn them a dollar.
Which makes it seem they are now not working-Not doing something productive or meaningful, something that really matters in this world.
Is the parent with a new baby off “work”?
Is the man checking on his elderly mom in the middle of the afternoon off “work”?
Is the grandparent who retires early to be available to help with grandchildren, or just enjoy them, off “work”?
Is the person maintaining the home, inside and out, teaching at home (thanks to Covid) parenting kids, caring for pets, making health and education decisions for kids, off “work”? I have heard more that one Dad, that is now trying to earn at home due to Covid, say now he sees what she does all day, meaning Mom. And imagine the moms also working to earn dollars. Dad, you really didn’t know??
Our words matter, because we hear ourselves. And all work matters, if it moves us forward: turns the economic wheel without causing harm, or provides comfort, or provides knowledge, or provides care.
And when you’re done work, that doesn’t mean you’re done mattering.
DoWhatMatters. Acknowledge your work.